I Am Not A Man

img_5312-jpgWell, I am not a man.

This fact has been well noted as I approach the birth of my fifth child. As a woman, I am blessed with the privilege to steward the life of another eternal being. Having experienced the pain that can accompany an unrealized pregnancy, I acknowledge that this blessing is not something to be taken for granted.

There’s a wave of perception, however, invading the conscience of society that threatens to undermine our female distinction.

Perhaps the messaging has struck you as well? That by embracing pregnancy and motherhood, you are relegating women to the lesser gender. At its extreme, the movement views motherhood as a form of bondage and oppression; a curse to be avoided and destroyed.

As a child of God, I’m glad He doesn’t feel the same way. According to God, even though I am female, I have been equally created in His image. So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).  And as a matter of salvation, “there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).

Yet, we women may look at a man and think, I want what he has.

It’s no coincidence that Satan used this same trick on us in the Garden of Eden. Human nature is to want what we can’t have or what others want, distracting us from appreciating what’s already ours to enjoy.

Lest we forget, bearing children was not the consequence for Eve giving into temptation. The privilege has always been the woman’s to serve as the vessel through which God would proliferate the human race. The consequence, rather, was to bear children in pain. The role remains no less an honor.

Thankfully, God is fair. We women weren’t the only ones to feel the effects of the Fall. Sin also adversely affected man’s God-given role. Instead of eating freely from the earth, he now had to toil in pain to sustain life from the ground.

And so, I choose to view motherhood as a gift bestowed on the chosen gender.

Unfortunately, perception is reality.  And it seems the enemy’s propaganda has worked to distort the perceived worth of the woman, relegating her strength to a weakness.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t believe women should ever stop advocating for equal rights. My fear is that in our pursuit for equal rights, we may lose sight of the power inherent in our ability to bear the future generations. Our true power is in embracing who we are.

Thus, I no longer believe the lies; that reaching our potential means assuming the role of the man; that our XX chromosome imposes an undue burden rather than an undeniable privilege; that motherhood is a role to be marginalized rather than celebrated; that freedom is disposing of a life as a matter of convenience rather than experiencing the indescribable honor of stewarding a life to his or her God-given purpose.

As I embark upon the road to motherhood once again, I thank God for this most honored privilege. I advocate for society to support the women who choose to embrace motherhood and pregnancy. I encourage men to lift up and cherish our most sacred role.

And I pray that all women will proclaim with pride, I am not a man. I am a woman.

Blessed Are the Meek

img_0146Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5).

But what is meek? I’ve heard it so many times. “I don’t want to be a doormat.” But what does that look like for the Christian? Can you be meek without being a “doormat?”

For most, it means being “nice to a point.” And the breaking point? It depends on the person. It’s all relative by human standards.

For the person who has endured the testing of his or her faith, that point may be little further down the line. But for most of us, we have a long way to go in training our flesh not to “break” too early.

Take Moses, for example. Early in his walk of faith, an Egyptian tested his patience by beating an Israelite without cause. Moses responded with brute strength. He killed the Egyptian. The condemnation Moses experienced from his extreme response to the injustice caused him to run and hide in the wilderness.

But God wasn’t done with him. Despite his failure, Moses grew in faith and wisdom. He learned that God could really use him if he chose to go God’s way rather than be lured by the reactions of his flesh. And by learning restraint to the point of obedience, God used him to do supernaturally powerful things.

He came to realize that self-control requires even more strength than exerting physical force or demanding his way in a situation. Restraining feelings to obey God takes a lot of humility and faith.

God calls this meekness.

Being meek is not weak, it is choosing restraint so that God can do His work in a situation. It means staying the course of obedience no matter what we feel like doing.

We are never a doormat if we choose to respond the way Scripture tells us to respond. We have the strength of the Lord Almighty on our side.

Being meek is a good thing. It’s a characteristic that God can use for His glory. We can choose today to embrace the blessings of meekness.

Confessions of a Not-So-Perfect [Christian] Mother

shutterstock_400379908It happened. If you knew me, you may have noticed something a little different. A dreamy look in my eye. A little lighter in my step. A cheesy smile on my face.

My son was complimented, unprovoked, on social media. Someone even gave me the credit in the comments. The mother graciously noted on my Facebook page how my son had returned the extra change inadvertently given him at the school store. “What a good kid” and “Great parenting” were two of the compliments included. Whoo-hoo.

If they only knew..

It couldn’t have been more than two days prior that an emotionally-charged me stormed off an email stating “I don’t want to do this anymore!” after a less-than enjoyable volunteering experience at our elementary school.

If they only knew….

Maybe five days prior, this same son who acted so nobly returning the money had broken a Christmas ornament in a store. I watched inconspicuously as he carefully placed it back on the shelf, putting the pieces back together as if nothing had ever happened—all the while looking over his shoulder to make sure no one noticed.

If they only knew…

Every day my one year old goes down for a nap–my precious, loving, adorable one-year old—I do a little happy dance and whisper “freedom!”

If they only knew…

(And this is really embarrassing) In the span of a month, I had to explain myself to the police—twice—for my bad parenting. First, my dog jumped into the minivan unbeknownst to me, so I didn’t know to roll the windows down. Only a few minutes passed, but when we returned to our car, the police were writing my license plate number down and a concerned citizen stood nearby on her phone. All in front of my kids. (The dog is totally fine thank goodness).

Then, my daughter and I were playing in the backyard, she in the playhouse, me in the garden when someone came and asked if I had a toddler. In a matter of seconds, she had snuck out of the playhouse and wandered out of our yard onto the sidewalk. Another wonderful and concerned citizen thankfully grabbed her–and called the police.

Both times the police responded with compassion, and thankfully nothing truly bad happened. But seriously, the guilt and shame of bad parenting and the “what could have happened” overwhelmed me.

Those are the most recent. The list could go on and on with the criticisms, solicited and unsolicited; warranted and unwarranted, I’ve gotten for my parenting.

So when another mother took the time to note with appreciation something good; something that reflected on all the hard lessons we spend 99% of our time trying to teach our children; the fruit of the repetitive chiseling of Godly values we painfully etch into our children’s hearts, I can’t help but rejoice.

Maybe that’s why God says to “Honor Thy Mother and Father.” He knows how flawed we parents are. We try and try and still come up short on occasion. But the parent who takes the time to instill the “way they should go” and use even these shameful, embarrassing moments as teaching moments, may occasionally get the “atta-girl”. Just maybe.

When my son tried to get away with breaking the ornament, I knew how he felt. If I could have snuck away from any of the situations described above and acted like they never happened, believe me—I would have!

But like God who disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6), I love my children too much to let that become apart of their character. I made my son go back, get the broken ornament, and confess to the clerk what had happened. He cried, embarrassed and ashamed.

Nevertheless, the responsibility for molding a child’s heart falls on the parent. So, I tried to explain that it’s better to get in trouble for being honest than get away with something for being sneaky—whether it was intentional or not.

The clerk was compassionate. I believe that‘s why my son returned the money a week later. He learned it’s not so bad to fess up and it feels a lot better on one’s conscience to confess and take the rap (if necessary) than live with the guilt of trying to get away with something.

Bottom line for me—I love the Lord and I love my children. I give thanks and pray everyday for the supernatural protection God provides when He stands in the gap of my parenting blunders.

At the end of the day, I pray that our efforts to mold the hearts of our children, albeit painful, will transcend our mistakes. And I pray in the end, our children will honor us, their parents, and glorify God by living lives obedient to Christ; serving as lights in the dark world.

Life Hurts; God Heals

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As I write this I am heading back to my hometown to visit my mother who was admitted to the ICU of the hospital. She fell and broke six ribs, puncturing her diaphragm. This puncture wound went undetected by the doctors for a week, causing extensive internal bleeding, shortness of breath, disorientation and weakness. On a scale of one to ten, when she could speak, she said her pain was a fourteen.

If you asked her, my mom would testify that any doctor who could bind up her wounds and heal her bleeding diaphragm would be worth everything right now. To her great blessing, a cardiac pulmonologist operated, binding up the puncture wound. She is finally on the road to healing.

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).  Is this scripture referring to a surgeon who repairs punctured diaphragms and the like? The author of this scripture lived almost 3,000 years ago. Yet he spoke of a person who could heal in ways that earthly physicians cannot, then or now.

The Psalmist spoke of Jesus Christ, the Messiah. In the Old Testament, the Messiah was something the Israelites hoped for, but who had not yet arrived.

Unlike the Israelistes of the Old Testament, we possess the blessing of  Jesus’ actual arrival and accomplishment of His purpose. We have the living hope that what the Psalmist prophesized Jesus would do is no longer just a future prospect–it happened.

Jesus said He came to heal us. He will heal us physically, true. But He primarily wants to heal our broken hearts. The brokenness that Jesus desires to fix is the brokenness of being separated from Him.

Apart from a relationship with our Savior, our hearts hurt. With Jesus, we can endure much suffering because Jesus offers to take our difficult times and give us a joy that gets us through our pain.

When we accept Jesus, He serves as the great physician to pull us into relationship with our Creator and heal the “bleeding” from willful separation.

Jesus does not promise a perfect, pain-free life. But He does offer to bind up the wounds and heal the broken hearts that result from a painful life apart from Him. By accepting Jesus’ forgiveness for our sin, our hearts are made whole; they are bound up and finally on the road to healing.

Faith and Hope

“Make a wish!”How often have we advised our children and others to do this as they blow out the candles on their birthday cake, or as they toss pennies into the fountain, or as they gaze upon a star. I don’t know about you, but I really thought hard as a child to choose the thing I wanted most to come true. I didn’t want to waste this special privilege on just a whim.

Yet, did we really expect our wishes to come true?

Perhaps. And maybe they did materialize in one form or another. But were they guarantees? Unfortunately, no. And most of us could testify to the disappointment of many of those wishes left unfulfilled.

So, what keeps us going back every year and making another wish? I can tell you: hope. We are slow to give up hope. Hope is the carrot that keeps us going. But hope based on wishes is empty. Empty wishes have nothing to back them up, to provide the guarantee or the surety that they will come true. Such futility will ultimately end in our disappointment.

And isn’t that the issue with life? Disappointment? After so many, we become jaded. We stop trusting. We definitely stop wishing. Experience has taught us, don’t waste your breath. The hope is gone.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen.”

Here’s the good news: the hope that Jesus offers is a guarantee. The mission is already accomplished. Victory is already ours. We experience this now in part through faith, and we will experience this hope fully in eternity.

The substance of all our hopes and dreams is set forth in this description of Heaven: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

The substance of the guarantee we all truly hope for is reconciliation God. We all long for a relationship with our heavenly Father. Faith satisfies this need now; the hope of such satisfaction keeps us going. We cannot see this faith, but there’s evidence of it in the fulfillment we experience through the living hope, Jesus Christ, abiding in our hearts.

Next time you’re tempted to make a wish, say a prayer instead thanking God for giving us the living hope of His Son, which is guaranateed to satisfy the longing of our human hearts.

Belief

img_8985What are the blessings of believing? Mark 11:24 says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” James 1:6 corroborates this by stating “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

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Trust

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What’s keeping you from living the abundant life Jesus promises? Most often, it’s failure to trust the One offering such a profound gift. We love God, but like the elephant in the room, we don’t want to admit that we cling to something else for our security.

Trust is the action that evidences our belief. First sign we trust God is letting go of what we are currently holding on to that is preventing us from receiving His promises.

And you might not realize what you’re holding onto. Here’s some examples: money, power, prestige, popularity, tradition, possessions, worldly reputation, bitterness, regret, martyrdom, shame, condemnation, and guilt.

The Bible says the things of this world are like a vapor; vanity. Like a mirage, they will disappear as soon as we try to grasp them. In that way, worldly pursuits provide us no lasting support or comfort (Ecclesiastes 1:2). And Jesus acknowledges that the weight of this world is heavy, but He wants to take that weight and exchange it for a lighter load (Matthew 11:28-29). Let Him.

Only when we let go of what we cling to in lieu of God will we have our hands free to receive all that God has planned for us. Take that step of faith today.